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Thursday, September 14, 2023

Hello! A change of direction!


If you do a google search for Lego Church Project or Praying At The Bricks you see two options coming up. One leads here, or a location on Substack. 

Decided a while back to just use Substack. So if your looking for updated content please check out the links below:


Praying At The Bricks! Substack

Building Faith Blog 

This blog and it's contents will remain up though a lot of the previous content will be moved over at some point. -JM 

Important Info:

The Lego Church Project (FB Page)

Praying At The Bricks Newsletter

Twitter: @kc8wzm

Bluesky: @kc8wzm.bsky.social

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EMAIL: kc8wzm@gmail.com

 

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Year after Year..

 


To see my work at the parish (Christ the Good Shepherd Parish - St. Helen Site) year after year is by far one of the more humbling experiences that I get to have. On the surface it may not seem like much in the long run. Yet it has become such an important part of my own faith journey. As I'm sitting and doing these displays I often get to reflect on the importance of our faith and why our faith should be an important part of our lives. The Project has managed to keep me grounded and extremely humble. Which I am thankful for.

The contrast between the end of my Project season and the celebration of Christ is not lost on me. Advent is the time of preparing for Christ to arrive. Christmas is that celebration. Yet here I am celebrating the *end* of the Project season. All of the challenges that go with it. Preparing for the tear down and the prelude to the next season. It is a bittersweet time that does not get any easier with age or experience.

This season has taught me a lot. I've stepped way out of my own comfort zone. Also dealing with a lot of extra challenges that have allowed me to explore how important my faith is to me. As I am heading into the end of my 23rd year and my 19th year of this display. I have a lot to pray on as I seek out the Wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

If you're in the Saginaw, MI region please come out and check out my work in person. You also get to see an amazing community with a wonderful choir. -JM

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Static is our Legacy


Night has fallen once again, and I turn off the lights around me. It takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. The only light that is in the room come from outside and of course the usual LED from a clock and whatever devices happen to be around. For most this is a normal part of life. For me however, I see something very different. In the past such a sight would have freaked me out. Sending my anxiety into dangerous orbit. These days however I sit and look around me with an odd sort of fascination. Curious as to how our systems can generate so much internal conflict. It is an amazing and scary world to live in. Welcome to the world of Visual Snow.

The best explanation for what Visual Snow (VS) is for me is that I see a constant static in my field of vision. It almost seems like I'm watching snow on an old analog TV. That really isn't the best understanding that I have. It almost looks like a transparent snowstorm. Or worse like billions of grains of sand suspended in the air all around me that is constantly moving in place. You almost want to reach out and grab some with your hand. Yet you are unable to. Since it is both close and far at the same time. The mind is having a hard time trying to process what you are trying to see. It is constant and it is endless. 

As I've reflected on this condition and all that is involved. I've come to suspect that this has been a slow gradual development since I was a kid. Given that I've had tinnitus in some form since my childhood this does not come as a surprise for me. A logical conclusion given that in so many ways tinnitus and VS go hand in hand. Many of us with VS also have tinnitus and at times a host of secondary issues that are all interconnected. Though not fully understood by doctors or science. I could go on about the various issues that I have. The one that tends to bother me the most is the severe sensitivity to light. Bad enough that I can't go outside without sunglasses unless I want my eyes to hurt. 

With any chronic condition as time moves on, we learn how to deal with it as best we can. I'm not sure I will ever understand this nature of Visual Snow. Trying to figure out the ins and outs of what is going on. I do understand how it can affect me on some days. More so if it's a bit more overcast than I would like. Even on normal sunny days I'm not fully spared the effects. Still, you figure out how to navigate life as best as you are able. One of the issues I tend to deal with is at night. Since the snow tends to be at it's worse. Limiting my ability to see in the dark or low light rooms since the snow fills my field of vision completely. It is not the end of the universe. Just something that I have to live with. 

In the past this condition would have sent my anxiety into dangerous orbit. Because (mainly at night) when you're looking into the dark room all you see is the snow. Knowing that you are the only one who can see this. As the years have moved on my own fear as lessened. I know that despite some limitations that I have. This isn't something that will hurt me (in a normal sense). It is still a bit disturbing to see this static. Yet it has also become a point of fascination and curiosity. I'm still trying to make sense of what it is that I see. It has taken me a long time to reach this point. To make peace with this condition even when I'm having a rough day of it. Not always easy. But that is to be expected on the road of life. Just another lesson I've learned from walking in my own shoes. 

Friday, July 29, 2022

Reflection 9/28

 

The more I look at the world. The more I have come to understand that it will always be in a state of constant and unending chaos. Something will always be happening. Events on the national stage. Things going on in our own towns and cities. Or closer to home with a family challenge or health crisis. For me it is not always easy to understand what is going on around me. Just feels like at times, it never really seems to end. Whatever peace I have managed to gain lasts for but a moment. Then the storm fires up again and I'm back where I started. 

As I walk on this journey of faith. I see this happening more in my life. It catches me off guard and often times I am gripped with a level of anxiety that is way out of my control. It twists and turns like the endless roller coaster seeking to throw me off the track and into the abyss. A constant challenge to navigate through the storm. More so when my reactions are not of my own desire or choosing. 

Even when the storms feel at their worse, I have still managed to remain grounded and still on the train. Thanks to my deep faith in Christ and by extension the Catholic Church. My faith is something that I hold on to and fully embrace. As believers we are called to do just that. Even when our own reactions are not ours to decide. For me at least, by fully accepting Christ, I have given up my own earthly desires and surrender myself to God's great plan. As difficult of a road that is to be on most times. 

The older I get. The more I know and understand that in my life I will always face some kind of storm. Even with all that goes on I take great comfort in my faith in Christ. Taking comfort in understanding and believing in the power of prayer. If I am to be known for anything in this life. Best to be known as a man of unwavering faith. Even when the anxiety reaches the most dramatic of levels. 

Sunday, July 24, 2022

A lesson on Ableism

 



Ableism.

This is a word that seem to be appearing more in our society and yet does not get enough attention. If anything, it is overlooked and minimized. If you are someone who has a challenge or disability. You've probably run into this word more than a few times.

What is ableism? It is pretty much discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities or who are perceived to be disabled. Often times this is by people who are well meaning but have a complete misunderstanding of the challenges and struggles that we (those with disabilities) face.

How and what form this takes varies from person to person. It can be simple as asking someone "what is wrong with them" as it relates to a specific challenge. Telling someone that they "don't look like they have a disability" even if it is meant as a compliment. Or in some other extremes. Assuming someone's challenge is the result of some kind of laziness or lack of exercise.

Many of us in the community face this kind of stuff on a daily basis. Sometimes it is very minor. Other times it is more extreme. In those cases, it can test our own ability to remain calm and collected even though the world comes across as being against us.

At the core of the issue with ableism is that it removes the dignity of those with disabilities. The world does not always have a mindset of being more open to those who are not "normal". It is more than contending with basic accommodations though. More along the lines of having a better attitude when it comes to being accepting. We should take great effort to make sure that we are not passing extreme judgement on those who face challenges. Nor do anything that would minimize and devalue the issues that we have to take on daily.

Author's note: I use the words "challenge" and "disability" almost interchangeably. Not everyone sees their challenge as a disability. Nor does everyone see their disability as a challenge.

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Poetry: As I Walk




As I Walk
JM Kraemer

As I walk through the journey of life,
Evil always lurks around me.

For no matter how strong I stand,
darkness seeks to ruin everything

My lantern is lit for the journey
Light of Christ is always the answer

The good book remains in my hand
while evil flees at its sight.

This journey is filled with constant danger
temptations and sin rule the world.

For no matter how strong I remain,
evil will give no rest.

To be on the journey is not an easy road
yet hope Christ gives always remains

Following this path will lead to great trials
rewards to be had yet to be seen.

As I walk through the journey of life,
Evil always lurks around me

Yet my faith in Christ remains strong
evil still seeks ruin all that is gained.

No matter how difficult the journey becomes
My lantern will always remain at the ready.

Christ gave His is word till the traveler's end
for we are always on the journey.




Rough day

I've always been pretty honest about the challenges I have with mental health. This post was written yesterday after a very bad anxiety attack that I'm still feeling the effects from. This is the reflection that came from that. 

 I've had a rough day. Before the news was unfolding, I had a fire up of some neurological issues. When the Visual Snow gets rough makes seeing a bit of a challenge. Also means the light sensitivity and the afterimages goes up a few notches. Such stuff then in turn fuels the anxiety so that what would be normal "minor" annoyances like a computer acting up. Turns into a full-blown fire breathing dragon. You do what you can to keep your head above water. Inside you are a jumbled wreck and your tolerance for B.S. goes out the window. You know full well that you're in a spot where you have more in common with an angry snapping turtle than a believer in Christ. It is hard to remain charitable with such a passion for what is going on.

Sometimes you have to take a bit of a step back and put those issues into prayer. Because in those moments' prayer is the only thing that will help. Gives you something to focus on. Even if that prayer is "Jesus Help!" Which has been a bit of a phrase for me today. The world will always be on fire in some way or another. That is just the nature of things. Yet Christ knew that and make it clear. You look though the history of the entire world you see things play out time and time again. What gives me my own hope though my struggles are the lives of the Saints who have gone before us. Some of them faced uphill climbs that make my difficulties seem minor. Living the faith as Catholic is not an easy road to travel on. When we look deeper into things, we see that was done on purpose. We are constantly tested to the point of nearly breaking. When we come out of that storm, we are exhausted and yet stronger for it. My faith in Christ has guided me though many of them.

I've had a rough day. Not the first time and won't be the last time. By the Grace of God, I am still standing. That counts for something.





Friday, June 24, 2022

Society of Violence



I'm sitting here with a lot on my mind. Which isn't anything that unusual if you know me to any degree. With all that I see and feel it allows me to put some focus on prayer. Even if it's just me having a conversation with God. 

The world by and large is a violent place. Our society has this nasty and rather unhealth obsession with it.  We (as a society) encourage it when something happens that we disagree with. A vile kind of extremism that both sides of any given debate will quietly endorse. The logic being is if X does Y even in the past then it is perfectly fine to threaten and intimidate here in the present. Making excuses and justifications as if this is something to be rewarded and celebrated. 

As world events unfold, I've been told more than a few times that the root of this evil is in fact religion. Given who I am this is something that I completely disagree with. Yet I cannot help but feel the anger and fear that exists in our world and the overall temptation to lash out. Such feelings are downright scary in the age when social media can dictate our desires and actions. 

In my own reflections on this I've come to accept that it is my faith in Christ that tempers me. With my focus on Christ, it keeps me grounded in what is truly important in this world. My passion and desire to serve Christ using the talents that God has given me. This desire allows me to put the events of the world into a perspective of clarity and understanding that only the Holy Spirit can give. 

Some are calling for violence. A Night of Rage that reminds me of even darker moments in the world history. My own goals for the evening will be to counter this violence with the peace that Christ gives to all of us. I know many of my fellow Christians will be doing the same. We know that violence is never a solution to a problem. No matter who is doing it. 

Social justice cannot be attained by violence. Violence kills what it intends to create. Saint John Paul II

May Christ bring peace to our violent obsessed society.