Cutting Words

The other day someone got onto my case because I "play with a children's toy". The person felt that I was trying to make myself out to be more important than I am. This isn't the first time I've run into such criticism. Even when you know where it is coming from, in this case a profound lack of understanding, it still cuts into you. My self-esteem hasn't been the world's greatest. This fellow's comments sure as heck did me no favors.

LEGO is the building medium that I use. I've always considered myself an artist who uses what he has on hand. I take what is in effect a blank canvas and create something from my own mind. Just so happens that what I build is in 3D format. Not unlike a 3D printer creating something layer by layer. It is a way for me to express myself in a creative way. In that respect I'm not all that unique. Their are many Adult Fans of Lego. (AFOL). Some of them create stuff that I could never even begin to understand. I don't want to minimize what I do or even my skill level. But their are truly some amazing builders out there. Brothers Brick is a good resource to check out to learn more.

However what separates me from the typical adult fan is what I do with those bricks. I build Catholic Parishes. Rather large and fully detailed parishes. Usually around 47x24x25 (inches). That's about the size of long coffee table or even a kitchen table. Pictures I've posted don't do this justice on any level. These the projects are a massive undertaking. The fact that I can build something like this with in about four to eight weeks is a challenge on it's own. Then I take that project on the road to a few locations in the region and show this to the public. Often times a Catholic Church or other like minded events. I'm also doing this solo. I'm not connected with any LEGO User Groups. The project is built on my own. The only help I really get is with transportation and set up for the displays. With out the kindness of people helping me out my displays would not happen.

Which brings us to the "profound lack of understanding" when it comes to what I do. What makes my work even more of a challenge. I have a mild case of cerebral palsy. This effects me in a lot of ways. Some of it even in the aspect of social interactions. I am extremely hyperactive on a good day. Which makes my attention span very limited. I also don't move around as well as I would like. My balance is not the greatest as it is. So moving around even in my apartment can be tricky. So the fact that I can even sit down and have enough patience to work on the Project. Often times for more than a few hours in a row is rather amazing. The fact that I have the dedication to do this for a full nineteen years and still have the same love that I did when I did my first display? Impressive. I really don't do this for myself. The goal about my artwork has always been sharing and showing that even if you have a disability or challenge that God can and will use your talents. Doing so in amazing and creative ways. That has always been my core message. No matter what else I do during the season. It always comes back to that. God has given me this amazing gift that many people around the world enjoy. I am blessed to be able to share it with others. All the media attention I have gotten in the last few years is just part of that. In this case it isn't so much about me but rather what I am doing and why. Giving hope to those who struggle with challenges even I cannot begin to understand.

The reality for me is that I often struggle with accepting the fact that I have a disability. The world around me doesn't help with this struggle. Many people are often looked down on because they don't fit what society declares as "normal". What is even more depressing is that some people don't fully realize when they make a comment "your artwork is trash and your not important" that those words do hurt. It's not constructive criticism but rather harmful to someone who's self-esteem has already taken a beating. More so when these kinds of comments come from people of the same faith. Those kinds of comments cut deep into the soul. We should be doing what we can do build people up and be encouraging as we can. Not make less than subtle jabs that minimize the value of someone. It is just a total lack of understanding and compassion. We should do more to encourage those around us. To fuel the creative fires of our talents. No matter what path we take with that. If it is for the Glory of God then we should be very supportive. It is one thing to offer up constructive criticism. To help make someone better. But it is something else to be out right mean and extremely judgmental. When that artist has a disability or other struggle such as anxiety or depression that harsh judgement can weaken someone's resolve and make them feel down right worthless.

That is what happens to me. For a bit of time I feel worthless and degraded. It is a very raw feeling when someone puts you down. Even when you have come to expect this from some people. Perhaps we should put more of a focus on trying to build people up. Instead of breaking them apart. Even if we disagree with what they are doing.

Thanks for reading. Till Next Time.

-JM